Hey I’m Katie, the girl on the cusp.
Of what? Changes, both external & internal
I’m a 17 (soon to be 18) year old senior in my second semester of high school.
I’m also getting ready to relocate to a college up in the GA mountains
I love writing, mainly just weird little sentences & then analyzing them. But I also like to do some short stories and
poems, so it’ll be interesting to see what comes out today.
Other facts: I’m a Pisces on the cusp of Gemini & my current obsession are bagels for some reason
So Karin asked me to write something again after all these years & boy how weird is that going to be. I was just
glancing over my last post and I realized that I have grown so much, more so in thought than any other way. So,
with that, let’s take a look at what nearly 5 years can show you.
This is a little commentary I wrote months ago about depression after a conversation that I had with one of my
friends who suffers from severe anxiety and depression. Originally, I planned it to be an opening for a short story, in
which I would just talk about the effects and stigmas regarding mental illness. But, I’m not sure if I’ll continue it
until I get a little more time to really focus & dive into the subject.
An Ode to Alice:
It’s a bit odd.
And I suppose that’s alright, since most things are odd.
But, even so, this is odd.
I believe this oddity could be described as an emotion or state of being. Yet, those terms are too concrete to
describe such an enigmatic concept. Many people tend to describe attributes of one’s mentality as either colors or
animate objects. “Depression is grey”, they say, “The monster that clings to your back, dragging you down”. But
that’s exactly why it’s an oddity. Because it is neither a color nor beast, yet that is the only way people can conceive
to describe it as.
But, who am I to speak? I’ve never felt too incredibly anything. So, is that where it lies? In our emotions? I
know it’s nothing as conclusive as a color or beast, so is it perhaps the being themselves? Like that one lonely boy
sitting on the curb? Yes, the one for some reason repels others as if he were a common obstacle. Is it his being that is
‘depressing’. Or is he unknowingly projecting a societally conceived envisionment of ‘depression’? So maybe,
rather than him, it is us who hold a great sadness, and a great tentativeness towards it? We push onto him what we
deduce based on what we feel in the subconscious of our soul; that ‘he’ is depressed. But, I guess in those regards,
he could even dare to say that nothing like his ‘depression’ exist, that he just has a debt to karma and a tendency
towards black clothing.
Perhaps, that is what makes it such an oddity, depression, because it can neither be described nor
stereotyped. And it is under that undescribed and impossible to confine category that we each cower away from so
desperately. When really, if we embraced that some part of our existence as human beings will always be tinged
with sadness, we could possibly learn that depression isn’t a beast to conquer or a color to cover, but rather an
essential part of our mental balance. We cannot know great happiness, we cannot have true emotional freedom and
clarity, until we are willing to accept the hurt that our heart feels.o edit.
Katie hasnt written for us in four years. Sometimes writers deal with fear of failure, fear of self, fear of vulnerablility or true authenticity.Sometimes we just procrastinte. So proud of her for writing again and fighting to find her voice. something about yourself